When I say I should have stayed with my ex , I’m dead serious . At least I knew what I was dealing with because dating in 2018 is stressful. There are so many options for men that they are fine with not settling down. I literally have about 6 men in relationships in my DM's right now . That’s crazy and the fact that they know I know they are in a relationship is crazier . I find that disrespectful , not only to your girlfriend but to me as well . To think I would settle for being second best .
Men will literally ask for your number 100 times , get it and “Wyd?” you to death. Ask to take you to dinner and expect something after like a dinner is worth so much. Most of us just want time and someone to talk to about our thoughts . Apparently , I attract men with no depth because I don’t want to keep hearing “So what you about to do?”. What are your goal , aspirations , what steps are you taking to get to those goals? I would love to hear about that and I want to tell him about mine.
I am 30 and maybe that is why it’s so stressful. Normally by this age women either have fallen in love with their high school sweetheart or at least in a healthy relationship. By 30, a woman has normally been through the ‘fuckboys’ and cheater phase. However, my “fuckboy” phase ended late in my 20’s , so it left me with short pickings. Everyone is looking for relationship goals and I am just waiting for someone who can hold a conversation for more than an hour consistently. Don’t hit me with the “I’m an awful texter please forgive me”, because I literally invented that line when I don’t want to talk to people. I learned from the best of the best, he was a Libra.
Social media has given people false hope of instant gratification . The thought that jumping into my DMs with a couple of compliments will convince me to give you my number . Quantity has become more important than quality in the day and age . Posting a picture fully dressed will get looked over versus the picture with some cleavage. Numbers don’t lie ,I can literally count the pictures that have gotten looked over. The social media age has also killed communication , getting to know each other all night on the phone is long gone . A man posting his girlfriend validates a great relationship , a woman posting a plate makes her ‘wifey material’ and posting pictures showing your body will get you chose. Clout is the new drug of choice and the exposing your ex on Instagram is the new payback.
I miss meeting someone at the gas station , mall or even a party . Having the anticipation to talk to them until they call you , getting to know them and talking all night long. It seems short lived these days , no one wants to put in the work. I recently met a guy at a party, he put his number in my phone and had the audacity to be inconsistent . It is mind boggling how much sense that made because it made no sense at all.
No one really wants to put in the work and instead of being honest they will string you along. Having cake and eating it too, getting your feelings involved while they tie up loose ends with their ex. I learned the term ‘Ghosting’ from Insecure and I’ve experienced it trust me. Leaving your feelings in limbo while they make sure their ex isn’t over them. I’ve written some of my best poems in emotional limbo and confusion . While I sat home writing my heart away , they were living their life not thinking about little ol' me.
In 2018, we should never have to lower our standards to accept less because the men we encounter don’t meet them. I should not have to pretend to be a damsel in distress so a man can feel secure. I have my own I don’t need a man , he is a plus to build with . Making me feel wanted regardless of whether I have $2.00 in the bank or $20,000, whether I have smalls boobies and tits or a huge butt. Those shallow thoughts are how we end up meeting surface people and I’ll admit in one part of my life I was very shallow. However , I am a grown woman and my list of qualifications in a partner have changed drastically . I just want a love I don’t have to validate on social media , someone who wants to know me for who I am , speak well and so many little small things . The small things mean the most, however until then Who Raised You Niggas?🙄
-"No Show Shaina"
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